The Weight You Carry Why Are You So Hard on Yourself?
Ever caught yourself saying, “I should be doing more” or “Why can’t I just get it together?” Maybe you replay moments in your head where you could have been more patient, more productive, more present.
If this sounds like you, I need you to hear this: You’re being way too hard on yourself.
You’re carrying guilt, unrealistic expectations, and self-blame like they’re requirements for being a good mom, a good employee, a good person. But what if I told you that grace, not perfection, is the key to peace?
Most of us were never taught to extend the same kindness to ourselves that we give so freely to others. We push through exhaustion. We criticize ourselves for the smallest mistakes. We expect ourselves to show up 100% in every area of life, even when we’re running on fumes.
Here’s the truth: You deserve grace just as much as anyone else. The pressure you feel? A lot of it isn’t even yours to carry. You’ve been conditioned to believe that your worth is tied to how much you do, how well you perform, and how little you struggle.
But that’s a lie. And today, we’re going to rewrite that story.
Let’s talk about where you’ve been hardest on yourself and how to finally start letting some of that weight go.
Where Are You Holding Yourself to an Unfair Standard?
The Unfair Rules You’ve Been Living By
We all have internal rules we’ve set for ourselves, rules we’d never expect from anyone else.
📌 The Perfection Rule:
“I should be able to handle everything without breaking.”
(Reality: No one can do it all. No one should.)
📌 The Productivity Rule:
“If I’m not constantly busy, I’m falling behind.”
(Reality: Rest is productive. Burnout isn’t.)
📌 The Guilt Rule:
“If I take time for myself, I’m selfish.”
(Reality: You can’t pour from an empty cup.)
Then there’s the comparison trap.
You see other moms, coworkers, and friends seemingly handling it all. Social media makes it worse. Highlight reels of “perfect” lives make you feel like you’re falling short.
But what you don’t see are the breakdowns behind closed doors. The stress. The sleepless nights. The moments of doubt.
The truth? You’re not failing, you’re human. And humans need breaks, boundaries, and breathing room.
How to Start Giving Yourself Grace
The way you talk to yourself matters. If your inner voice is constantly tearing you down, it’s time to change the script.
📝 Try this: Write down one thing you blame yourself for. Then ask:
Would I judge another mom for this?
Am I expecting perfection from myself?
What’s the kindest thing I can say to myself instead?
For example:
🚫 “I should be a more patient mom.”
✅ “I am doing my best with what I have today.”
🚫 “I shouldn’t need help.”
✅ “Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.”
Why Self-Compassion Changes Everything
Self-compassion isn’t letting yourself off the hook, it’s acknowledging that you’re doing the best you can with what you have.
🛑 When you constantly criticize yourself, you don’t feel motivated, you feel drained.
✅ When you show yourself grace, you build resilience and confidence.
When your child or best friend messes up, do you tear them down? No. You encourage them. You remind them that one mistake doesn’t define them.
So why don’t you deserve that same kindness?
How to Practice Self-Compassion Daily
✅ Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend.
✅ Celebrate progress, not perfection.
✅ Take breaks without guilt.
✅ Replace “I should” with “I deserve.”
You Deserve the Grace You Give to Others
If you’ve been holding yourself to impossible standards, it’s time to rewrite the rules.
Think of all the grace you give to your kids, your family, your friends. When they struggle, you remind them they’re doing their best. You tell them they’re worthy, even on their hardest days.
But when was the last time you said that to yourself?
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove you’re doing enough. You don’t have to carry guilt for simply being human.
It’s okay to pause. To take a deep breath and recognize that you’ve been carrying so much more than you should. It’s okay to step back and ask:
💭 What do I actually deserve?
💭 What if I allowed myself to be enough as I am?
This isn’t about giving up. It’s about giving yourself permission to stop fighting so hard for something you’ve already earned your own grace.
And if you need help shifting your mindset, I’ve got you. Let’s pause together.
Let’s clear the noise, reset your energy, and focus on what you truly need.
